I’m seeking sanctuary right now. I’m happily tucked in the window of my favorite coffee shop. The rhythm of traffic and rain on the other side of the glass pane, pressing in on the sound of a coffee shop playlist overhead and the chatter of friends bouncing around the walls, makes for the perfect white noise to wash my mind. This week felt long and I felt busy, cooped up and STILL unable to get everything done that feels like it needs to get done. I felt like my kids were bored but I had nothing new for them. And to top it all off– I have been two kinds of sick this week!
I needed some breathing room and my hubby knew it. He told me to go wherever I want to go tonight and stay out as long as I need to. Yes, he loves me and he knows me. (Also, he knows it’s better for the whole family when mama steps out every now and then!)
My emotions have been so up and down this week. I have a heavy spirit for friends who are suffering, my own heart still churns with the loss I’ve suffered, my head is filled with unanswered questions… but then my little boys, who also tap so much of my time and energy, make me laugh and play and forget my own preoccupations for small spans of time. It’s hard to feel all the feelings, isn’t it ladies?? Sometimes I feel like I’m just going to explode!
I think it’s no coincidence that earlier this week I discovered Dr. Saundra Dalton-Smith, M.D. and her book, Sacred Rest. Her findings go so much deeper than just taking time out to fill ourselves up, go on another vacation or get more sleep. Check out this excerpt from the first chapter of her book:
“Let’s be honest; we are all just too busy. I’m too busy to write this book, and you are probably too busy to read this book. Both of us are being pulled by our busy lives when all we want is to have a good life. And so we find ourselves in the inevitable predicament of much activity and little enjoyment. Our wheels spin as we shove more to do in a day with no available daylight hours left, only to find ourselves wanting in the end. Not wanting more to do. No, we have plenty to do.
We find ourselves wanting more time to do the things we enjoy doing. We want time to enjoy our kids. We want time to make love to our spouses. We want time to linger over a good meal. We want time to use the bathroom without interruptions. We want more time.
But there is no more time. Time is. It is both infinite and finite. It goes on and on. With or without us it will continue. Our number of days are known by God alone. Time chimes in loudly over the roar of our anxious minds, initiating a battle between warring fears and courageous rest.
Aborting rest empties me of everything holy. It strips me of the ability to treasure life and peels away the value of being. I feel I’m nothing if I’m doing nothing. My worth is wrapped tight around my endless activity. So I keep going round and round, each time becoming more short-tempered, more disgruntled, and more discontented.
A life without periods of rest will not endure the daily grind.”
Saundra has discovered that there are seven types of rest that she finds lacking in the vast majority of people and how they affect every aspect of our life.
She even has a handy quiz you can take to see how you’re doing with rest. (Click here to take the quiz yourself!) I took it and discovered that there is not one area in which I’m scoring sufficient in and not even close to it!! Yikes! No wonder I expect myself to physically explode sometimes! And it’s at this point that I put that book in my shopping cart and clicked Buy! So it’s on it’s way to me and I look forward to diving in more thoroughly. If you’d like to hear what Saundra has to say you can hear the great conversation I listened to at godcenteredmom.com.
I want to be a good wife, a good mom, a good friend… even a good stranger! And I know you want that too (I know that because you’re still reading this :] ). So while I have no real advice for you in this blog post I hope to have pointed you to something helpful! I’d love to hear from you in the comments. Do you feel that proper rest is something you could use in your life?
With permission from Lance to go and do what I wanted, I was SO tempted to give myself some (temporarily) enjoyable shopping therapy tonight. But. I came here. I came to dig into my heart a little. It’s interesting… my schedule has recently changed and I wasn’t sure if I would have time to write this blog anymore. But God’s made it a necessity for me. He’s ensured that I will make time for it. Because it does fill me up, and I so hope it helps others as well; I don’t want to just add to the noise. Writing is a release for me. And it’s when I sit down to write that I can piece things together to get a little bit more of a glimpse of the big picture.
And there it is: we will always have to make time for the things that matter. It’s not an issue of “finding” time. Finding it is just not reality.
I’m praying blessings over you, friend!
P.S. Saundra has made the first chapter of her book available to read for free!