Ugh, I don’t know why—I like to think maybe I’m not getting “filled up,” enough but actually, I know it’s just my chronic sinful nature (which is, thankfully, constantly redeemed and rescued by Jesus!)—but I’ve been having a lot of mommy moments lately of which I am not proud. I’ve been losing patience in an instant and hating the fact that I did so the very next second. I apologize to my sweet boy for yelling and for getting angry. He forgives me as quickly as I got angry (what an example for me) and then about two minutes later we go through the exact same scenario again.
I wish I could say I had just learned my lesson and I am slower to get angry this time, but I’m just as quick as I was the first time to lose my cool (maybe even faster because WE JUST WENT THROUGH THIS!). I apologize immediately, he forgives me immediately, and then I do some soul searching…
Psalms 103:8: “The Lord is compassionate and merciful, slow to get angry and filled with unfailing love.”
Now backup and read that verse one more time… really! Do it! I’ll wait 🙂
I know that I want to be like our Heavenly Father, because he is so very patient with me. When I think about all of the times I’ve screwed up and he has withheld what I truly deserve (because of his compassionate and merciful nature) I am overwhelmed with gratitude. And what kind of person would I be if I didn’t pass on the endless compassion and mercy I receive from my Father to my own children?
James 1:19: “Understand this, dear brothers and sisters: You must all be quick to listen, slow to speak and slow to get angry.”
Believers in Christ are always being refined to become more like Jesus (God incarnate) and in the book of James the author (believed to be James, the half-brother of Jesus) prompts us with the very same words used to describe the Father, “be slow to get angry.” This isn’t just something we decide we’re going to do and then it’s no problem. It’s something we need to keep in the front of our mind, we almost have to be looking for opportunities to behave this way so that when they pop up we’re ready to respond S.L.O.W.L.Y… (the “count to 10” method is a great way to work on being slow to get angry).
So all of that to say that my soul searching lead me to remember the endless grace I am given, and therefore, the grace I must pay forward to my children. So don’t worry, you’re not hopeless, your children are not ruined. You will have a gazillion more opportunities to respond slowly (haha, yay!). Now get back out there and love on those precious kids. ❤